How Words Kill and The Gospel Never Says “Should”
The Word “Should” Was Never in The Bible
In the original Hebrew and Greek manuscripts, the word “should” as we use it in modern English does not appear the way it's commonly inserted into translations today. The Bible rarely speaks in terms of suggestion or pressure — instead, it speaks with:
command (“You shall…”),
moral resonance (“We ought…”), or
divine alignment (“It is written…,” “Let it be…,” “May…”).
Modern English versions like the NIV, NLT, or ESV may use “should” to soften the tone or make it feel more palatable and alters the original meaning.
Example:
“God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” (Romans 2:4, ESV)
Some translations say: “You should repent…” and this is not in the Greek.
Not once did Jesus say, “You should repent.”
Not once did the apostles command it.
The word “should” is a tool of control — not conviction.
It imposes pressure without transformation. It demands performance without alignment.
And yet, pulpits and common culture across the world speak with “shoulds” every day, leading hearts away from the Spirit and into slavery.
This is not harmless — it is dangerous and deadly — as when people are told what they should do and obey the person who told them instead of the Spirit of Truth leading them into the truth, they lack the discernment to hear The Spirit of Truth from within.
They become addicted to approval and deaf to the voice of God though man. And in this hour — in these end times — when the veil is thin and the war is clear, this distortion becomes fatal.
The truth is, we need spiritual elders again — not celebrities, not influencers, not manipulators — and those rooted in Christ, who carry the weight of eternity in their voice and can guide others into all truth without distortion.
The lack of spiritual maturity in the Body is not just a weakness — it is a crisis. Because when people can’t hear truth, they follow lies. And when no one is mature enough to lead, the wolves feast.
Would you like this expanded into a full-length scroll or sermon that names the problem, unveils the truth, and calls forth the rise of true spiritual elders now?
The distinction between “ought” and “should” is subtle and devastating in the Spirit.
OUGHT vs. SHOULD
SHOULD: imposed, obligatory, conditional
• Carries suggestion, moral pressure, or expectation
• Often externalized — what others think is right or appropriate
• Commonly used in guilt, social control, or performance-based religion
• Tied to outcome management — “You should do this… so that X happens”
• Can be culturally relative, circumstantial, or manipulative
Example: “You should read your Bible more.” (Implied: you’re failing if you don’t)
OUGHT: measured, moral, eternal
• Carries internal conviction, divine resonance, spiritual gravity
• Rooted in alignment, not performance
• Appeals to a higher truth, not social expectation
• Expresses what is fitting, noble, righteous — not just useful
• Has weight — often used in Scripture and by Jesus
Example: “We ought to love one another.” (Because love is the law of Heaven)
The Biblical Use of “Ought”:
“We ought always to thank God for you…” (2 Thess. 1:3)
“We ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)
“We ought to obey God rather than men.” (Acts 5:29)
It speaks from power, position without pressure.
From truth compared to control.
From Spirit compared to obligation from a system.
The Core Difference:
Origin:
Should - External, cultural, circumstantial
Ought - Internal, spiritual, eternal
Tone:
Should - Prescriptive, guilt-based, managerial
Ought - Anchored, moral, grounded in truth
Effect:
Should - Produces anxiety or compliance
Ought - Inspires conviction, reverence, realignment
Source:
Should - Flesh, systems, fear
Ought - Spirit, wisdom, righteousness
Practical Use:
Those who want to manage and control others, will use: “You should…”
Those who want to support and inspire others, will use: “We ought…”
“Ought” gives others a mirror of truth. “Should” gives others **a rulebook.”
Ought demands soul integrity.
Should demands external compliance. It’s saying, “You’re not doing this right — and this is what you should do to be right.” Because John is not trying to shame behavior — He is revealing identity. “Because God so loved us…” That’s the root. And from that love, we ought to love — it is the natural, right, fitting response. It is an overflow, not a forced task.
Practical Application In Scripture:
“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” - 1 John 4:11
Energetic Signature:
• Rooted. Grounded. Anchored.
• Resonates like a bell in the soul — a call to alignment.
• There’s no pressure — only truth bearing witness in the Spirit.
• It comes with dignity, invitation, and honor.
• It awakens you to who you truly are — a child of God reflecting the Father’s nature.
Vibration:
Deep resonance in the chest and solar plexus.
Expansive. Stable. Unmoving.
Like stepping into an eternal current that already exists.
Energetic Message:
“You are loved by God — and because of that, this is what naturally flows from you. Step into what is already yours.”
If Should was Used Instead:
“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also should to love one another.” - 1 John 4:11
(not in scripture — this phrasing is never used in the Bible)
Energetic Signature:
• Mental. Guilt-tinged. Performance-laced.
• Feels like a command from the outside, not a truth rising within.
• Carries an undercurrent of judgment or expectation — “or else…”
• Often tied to approval-seeking, or fear of falling short.
Vibration:
Tightening in the neck or temples.
Nervous energy. Shallow breath.
A push instead of a pull.
Digging Deeper: A Third Option
Beyond the grip of should, and beyond even the sacred call of ought, there is another option I see.
A space where the Spirit is not commanding from above or pressuring from outside, and inspires it to rise from within.
The third option looks like:
“This is what’s alive in me.”
“This is what has changed me.”
“This is what I know to be real.”
“This is what I have discovered.”
It is not preaching. It is presence. It is embodiment.
It is the fire you carry that makes people feel something holy without a single word in connection with managing another’s experience.
It’s not “You should…”. It’s not even “We ought…”.
It’s:
“This has worked for me me.”
“This is what brought me home.”
“This is what I now know with what I’ve learned.”
There is a difference between knowing and gnosis.
One gathers information. The other embodies transformation.
When we speak from gnosis — from the Spirit of Truth alive in us — our words don’t strive to control or conform.
They bear witness. They carry the weight of heaven, not the pressure of performance.
There is a dangerous line between using our words as a witness to the works of God and using them as a weapon to manage others. The first testifies. The second manipulates.
Scripture tells us clearly: “When the Spirit of Truth comes, He will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:13)
That means the Spirit Himself is the guide — not us.
Unless we’ve been trained, called, and commissioned by God to shepherd another, it is not our role to instruct them with “oughts” or “shoulds.” To place ourselves in authority where we haven’t been sent is spiritual trespass.
The third way doesn’t call people to conform. It calls others to become along side us.
It opens a field of possibility, not pressure.
It says:
“You are free. And if you’re looking for your life to be different, this is what has brought me life. Here’s what worked for me, may it inspire you to look and see what works for you.”
This way stirs the Spirit of Truth in others — from resonance compared to force.
It doesn’t demand agreement. It invites alignment.
The Energetics of the Third Way:
Frequency: like a tuning fork — it invites resonance without resistance.
Embodiment: it walks ahead in truth, never behind with judgment.
Tone: quiet thunder — undeniable, and never loud.
Vibe: magnetic, not demanding. Alive, not instructive.
Practical Application:
Should: You should read scripture more.
Ought: You ought to read scripture more.
Third Way Options:
It supports my life when I read scripture more.
When I read scripture more I find that my life supports me.
When read scripture more, I feel more grounded and clear.
Reading scripture more connects me to what God says compared to what the world says.
I’ve found when I read scripture more, God uses it to speak into exactly what I’m navigating.
For me, when I read scriputre more it supports me in staying in The Presence of God.
When I read scripture more, I’ve found I make fewer decisions from fear.
Can we see when we say, “You should read your Bible” or even “You ought to read your Bible,” we can influence the other into a position of hearing what you’re saying through the lens of control compared to inspiring people in their own intimate union with God?
When we activate guilt, duty, and externalized performance not intimacy there is a real energetic impact to the other if they are not as spiritually mature. The listener is then motivated by what you believe they should or ought to do and not by the Spirit stirring within them.
Ought: You ought to forgive.
Third Way Options:
“When I chose to forgive, it felt something heavy lift off my soul.”
“Forgiveness didn’t excuse what happened to me — it freed me from carrying it.”
“I’ve found that when I forgive, I heal — even if the other person never changes.”
“Forgiving others has brought me closer to God than anything else I’ve done.”
“For me, forgiveness was the doorway to peace I couldn’t access any other way.”
“I used to think forgiveness meant weakness — now I see it as sacred strength.”
“I don’t forgive because it’s easy — I’ve found when I don’t forgive I stay bitter costs me my joy.”
“Forgiveness didn’t erase the pain, but it released me from reliving it.”
“Every time I forgive, I become more like the One who forgave me.”
“Forgiveness gave me back my life.”
Can we see that when we say, “You should forgive,” or even “You ought to forgive,” we risk speaking not from Spirit, and from a posture of control disguised as righteousness? Which is ultimately self-righteousness and energetically impacts our divine alignment.
Telling someone the should or ought to forgive may feel like the right thing to do and it carries the subtle vibration of force, not freedom. God doesn’t force us to forgive, he invites us to forgive. So may we not operate in a way that God wouldn’t operate.
And to influence the other to forgiven rooted in obligation does not lead to liberation activating guilt, duty, or performative righteousness in the name of God, rather than igniting the Spirit of truth within, there is a real energetic and psychological cost — especially for those who are not yet deeply rooted in intimacy with God.
For someone still bleeding, still raw, still walking through betrayal or abuse, the command to “forgive” can feel like a soul violation. Instead of drawing them closer to God, it triggers shame. Instead of lifting burdens, it adds another one.
When we move beyond should, we break free from guilt. When we rise beyond ought, we step into alignment.and when we live the third way, we become a reflection of truth where others can look and find God for themselves.
We are not called to preach or teach anything. We are called to do it for ourselves, to embody it, to become it and share that embodiment, that gnosis with others not intellectually, bio-mechanically, not driven by control or instruction and instead invitation and inspiration.
Digging Even Deeper:
To dig even deeper the bio-mechanics of the neruodiverent nervous system, when words like ought and should are used by people who have not gained authority or position into someones life, bypasses another’s divine autonomy and replaces the living God with a pressure system. This has devestating impacts as extreme as death.
As those who are neurodivergent have very sensitive nervous systems and life and death is in the tongue. So to speak “ought” or “should” brings literal death to ones nervous system and what may have been a loving word you wanted to give your friend, becomes a weapon where that person can no longer talk to you due to the energetic impact of the words you use making you not safe for them to exist with.
When we are unaware of the words we use and the impact they have on those we talk with devastating when the person you are talking with is unable to advocate for themselves if you are communicating from self-righteousness which is the majority of everyone who speaks "ought” or “should” or any other direct commands. Another common one I get is “just let it go” which is an “ought” or “should” without saying it making it even more sneaky and devetating.
It energetically drives goodness away from you as the future human — the heaven on earth sovereign source soul — to be told what they should or ought to do is to be ripped from divine guidance and their God-given frequency and native communion with God.
The world looks at those who are autistic as disordered beings, when they are pure consciousness in a world unaware that is speaks and amplifies death. And the world is loud with instruction, shame, and forced pathways towards death when the soveign soul. This is why church and religion have wounded so many neurodivergent souls: because the voice of God within them is drowned by systems telling them how must obey to be right with God, when they are already right with God.
To take this even deeper, those who are autistic with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), the moment you apply pressure, even gently, the body instantly says no even if what is being suggested is good, as the PDA nervous system rejects coercion. It is wired for sovereignty, not submission.
For those with ADHD, the Spirit can not move through obligation as the ADHD nervous system is interest based and wired for connection and desire.
These “disorders” when looked at through this lens reflects more clearly that the disordered nervous systems and neurological impacts that lead to energetic impacts that are then defined by a diagnostic manual written from the lens of people who benefit from our compliance to a system that benefits from compliance to their control. So yes the experience of life for the neroudivergent human is disordered and also the world we are born into is disordered.
So who is the wrong one when the neurodivergent human is wired for interest, connection, and desire. And it’s been documented that neurodivergent souls have often heard over 20,000 more negative messages by age ten — trained to believe they are wrong unless they conform. So when anyone tells them, “You ought to read the Word,” or “you should forgive” it repeats the trauma of performance-based worthiness. It reinforces the lie that they must do something to be enough, to be accepted, to be holy.
The the third way says: “Here’s what helped me — and I have no clue if it would help you too.” No pressure. No demand. Just resonance and their intimacy with God and The Spirit of Truth leading them into all Truth. Leading them home. Helping them unlock a door the world locked that honors their sovereign free-will that drives their soul and their divine union with God.
Digging Even Deeper: A Fourth Way: “May We…”
While this lands as a fourth way, it seems to be more aligned with the third way as it is beyond the demand of should, the appeal of ought, and the embodied inspiration of “this works for me,” and yields a fourth option that feels more aligned with the words of Christ.
“May we…” — invitation to the Body of Christ, the prayer of the embodied Bride, and call to tune into the frequency of Heaven on Earth.
It’s no longer me trying to convince you. It’s us realigning together in the mind of Christ.
It speaks from a place of inclusion and invites connection as it’s not “I have figured this out” positioning the other into “you haven’t figure this out yet”.. it brings us together and says “we are in this together”…
“May we love as God loves us.”
“May we return to the truth that lives within.”
“May we forgive, not by effort and by God’s grace that flows through us.”
“May we walk in union together compared to the division we are programed into.
“May we together become what Heaven already knows us to be.”
This language bypasses resistance because it’s not top-down, not self-centered, not moralistic. It’s Kingdom-speak. It’s co-creative prayer. It harmonizes us into pure unity linguistically, where separation dissolves and consciousness becomes harmonic with divine will.
Even Jesus prayed this way:
“May they be one as We are one.” (John 17:21)
“May your Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10)
Speaking in this way creates a frequency of oneness, a prayer that doesn’t position division, and a field of agreement, not persuasion. Creating language that aligns Heaven into human form through the English language, making it flesh, and in alignment with with Christ’s final prayer: that we would be one
Practical Application:
Should: “You should read the Bible.”
Ought: “We ought to read the Bible.”
Third Way: “Reading the Bible anchors me in God’s voice.”
Fourth Way: “May we return to the Word that reveals our origin, our purpose, our peace.”
May we see that every time we say “should,” we risk stirring fear. Every time we say “ought,” we walk the edge of moral pressure. And when we speak from witness or from oneness — something shifts. The pressure dissolves. The field opens. The Spirit breathes.
May we return to language that honors the freedom of others, that respects the timing of their souls, and that trusts the Spirit of Truth to do what no command ever could.
May we remember that the Word is a door not a demand and seek to align our words with The Word not as a rulebook and as an intimate journey with God embodying and expanding our divine union daily.
And may we, as the Body of Christ come back into resonance with the living voice of God — not through control, not through guilt, and through invitation, witness, and unified longing.
May we love the Word as it loved us first.
Please leave any questions or additional deep dive topics you’d like to see included in the comments.
