The Beauty and Curse of the Mind

I’m not a doctor, a scientist, or someone with formal training in human behavior. Everything I share comes from studying myself and observing others. Some people struggle to accept that self-observation can bring clarity without a degree, but the truth is, I’ve spent years getting a solid grasp on how my mind works—and let me tell you, it’s both a blessing and a curse.

Take this very post. I’m writing these words, knowing their meaning effortlessly. It’s not a conscious process; it’s automatic, flowing from a deeper part of my brain. That’s the beauty of the mind: the complex, autonomic nature that makes life function smoothly. But the same system that allows me to write also houses behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that emerge without my active participation. And not all of them are good.

I’ve been observing this bubbling-up process—the unconscious mind rising to the surface. And what I’ve seen is… a lot of it is shit. These automatic thoughts and reactions don’t always serve me. They don’t work for anyone, really. It’s become clear to me that the mind is both the source of our destruction and the key to our creation.

The power lies in recognizing this and shifting what doesn’t work. But let’s be real: when emotions are intense—when I’m angry, sad, or triggered—logic takes a back seat. In those moments, all I can do is fully experience what’s happening. And that’s where integration comes in.

Integration is not passive. It’s not just reflecting on an experience. It’s visceral. It’s messy. It’s allowing those intense moments—whether they’re transcendent or disturbing—to fundamentally change you. Integration is active. It’s the process of weaving these experiences into the fabric of who we are, whether we like it or not.

And let me stress this: everything I post, everything I say, is a reminder for myself. I’m not here to be your teacher, your guru, or your savior. I’m not even here to help you. I’m selfish in that way. These messages are me speaking to myself, reminding myself of what I know, what I’ve lived, and what I still struggle to embody.

Because I am human as fuck. I get angry. I get sad. I get lost in the sauce just like anyone else. When I’m in the thick of it, I don’t always have access to a better way of being. I forget. And that’s why I write—so I can remember.

Everything we allow into our mind becomes a part of us. For much of my life, I’ve been careless with this. I’ve subjected myself to disturbing, destructive imagery and ideas. I’ve normalized things that, deep down, I knew didn’t align with the life I wanted to live. And those things don’t just disappear. They linger. They pop up in random moments, uninvited, and I have to reckon with the choices I’ve made about what I allowed into my psyche.

So this is my reminder—to myself and anyone reading—to be mindful of what we consume, what we integrate, and what we allow to shape us. The mind is powerful, and it deserves our care. Because whether it creates or destroys, that choice is ours.